Express Yourself

Okay, when you hear that phrase, Express Yourself, you probably think of that lovely song, or being outspoken, or sharing some part of yourself with the public... well that phrase had double meaning for me today. I am a nursing mom that has to pump on my breaks at work. I do it, it's not fun, but it works. Today, after school, I put the do not disturb sign on the door, made sure the room was locked, and set myself up for a "milking session". OMG! Of course, today would happen to be the day I didn't have a nursing cover because Jayden spit up all over it. Yep... I was barged in on. I heard the key enter the lock and started hollering: "No, you can't come in here! Get out! Close the door! Stay out! I'm pumping! You need to leave now! Oh my gosh, shut the door!!!!"

The custodial worker that collects the trash in the evenings came in despite my shouting denials and stopped in the hallway of my room, staring in shock at the boobs that were staring back at him though the opalescent cups of the pump. It was deer caught in the headlights syndrome at its finest. Kill me now. He just kept staring, stuttering, and saying that he just needed to get the trash. Finally, he backed out of the room and shut the door. I just looked down at myself realizing that, despite the fact that I had tried to slump, the desk was still at my bellybutton and my bust was on prominent display above it. I was finally able to turn off the pump and detach my mortified breasts from the torturous pump before calling Rhonda to share my laughter and tears.

I guess the questions will be: Will he leave a number on the board? Can that be considered a tip? Will I get beads like I would for the same occurrence at Mardi Gras? I'll just have to suck it up and head back to work tomorrow despite my short stint as the topless teaching dairy gal.

That's all she wrote... I just wanted to keep you abreast of the current work situation. Enjoy your week and seriously, when the sign on the door says "DO NOT DISTURB!" don't open the dang door.